Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Trials of the Laminated List Part 1

It started with weekly sales meetings that left the conference room a mess. Admin Jo-Beth gave out weekly cleaning detail to the whole office, each one of us would get stuck with the job. She posted the List in the break room. Who would clean the conference room on this week of the month…

Strangely, the list kept disappearing. “I didn’t know it was my turn.” The shrugging would pass around the office. “The list is gone, I didn’t know….” Every time the list would go missing and the conference room remained a mess.

Jo-Beth clamped down. She had maintenance install a locking glass display case in the break room. Here the List would be safely displayed protected, proclaiming the duties without dispute.

There was one problem. I was given the responsibility of transporting the List from Jo-Beth’s office all the way on the east side of the building to the west side of the building. In between was a journey fraught with terrors, office workers and cube dwellers, every department from accounting to acquisitions, to human resources all knowing full well I possessed the List that would leave them cleaning up bagel crumbs and swizzle sticks. They would do everything in their power to stop me.

Jo-Beth had an idea. She brought out the Fellowes Saturn 95 Laminator with its easy carrying handle and stand-up feet. She took out the laminating starter kit that was included and powered up the Saturn 95. It warmed up in no time. The HeatGuard Technology kept the Saturn cool to the touch as we passed the list through. In a matter of minutes the List was safely sealed in a secure plastic pouch, complete document protection in five minutes.

She handed me the laminated list and the key to the display case. “Remember,” she said, “a laminated document is a safe document. I hope you well on your journey.”

Leaving her office, the door closing behind me, I could see ahead the vast maze of all the departments. Heads prairie-dogging over the tops of cubicles, eyeing me, eyeing the laminated List that I clutched close to my chest, stroking their chins, scheming as I proceeded trembling into the cube jungle….

See what happens in the next episode of “The List” in Cube Confessions.

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